I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
