Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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