Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
