I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
