I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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