I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
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