so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
