Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Randomize
