nut hugger
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
