did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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