Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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