She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
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