I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
