Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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