There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Randomize
