Where did you get a picture of my penis
After last night, I could never be a politician.
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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