That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
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she sounds like chewbacca in bed
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
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There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
50% drunk capacity currently
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
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