i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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