A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Randomize
