Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
