so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
