I love black thongs
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize