I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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