i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
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