Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
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