Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
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