it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
splinters make it hard to masturbate
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Randomize
