I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
