My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize