My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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