Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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