I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
