so explain again why im purple
no
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
it's not cheating when I paid for it
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
