you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
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