She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
