Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Randomize
