I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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