Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
