I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
