Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
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