I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
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