4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
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