About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
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