i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Randomize
