i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
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