and my herpes radar will keep us safe
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
Randomize
