I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
