is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Randomize
