how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
