There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Randomize
