I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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