She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Randomize
