Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
How drunk are you?
Completed.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
