This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Randomize
