It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Randomize
