Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
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