i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
