ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Randomize
