that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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