If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
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